Last night, I found myself deleting all your text messages from my inbox and 'energy boosters' folder. For some reason, I felt so much relief doing so. It was like emptying my room, removing all the dirt that once occupied it that made me harder to breathe.
It wasn't easy though. I was given the chance to read them all over again. Made me think twice during the last second. But thinking of what happened, I said to myself, "how stupid of me to believe all these lies? How come I fell for that?"
It was kind of irritating as well. It even came to a point that I was convincing myself that something was really there, behind that sweet messages. But I had to slap myself and face reality. "Hey! During that time he texted this, they're already together! So how come something will happen between the two of you?!"
*sigh*
I suddenly remembered you and him and whatever you may be doing now.
I remembered that night when a friend confirmed to me your relationship.
I remembered how badly I cried on the jeep, on the bus, during our office GA, during lunch and dinner with my dad.
I remembered how happy I was when you called and asked about me.
I remembered how calm I was when you finally came out.
And yet how hurtful it is, still, that night as I get home.
All of these came rushing back into my mind. And everything lingered really bad.
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Last night, I found myself deleting all your text messages from my inbox and 'energy boosters' folder.
And I was happy. I am happy. With finality I can say that I'm halfway there, moving on. Forgetting all about you, all about us.
More than anything, I was happy because I emptied a portion of my phone's memory. From around 500 messages from my inbox, it's now down to 270. Giving space to more important messages. And maybe reserving that space for somebody else's texts.
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